Subject: FOR SOME * REAL * CONSIDERATION...
Date: Thu, 5 Nov 1998 09:33:25 -0500 (EST)
From: Jun Sung <jaschan@umich.edu>
To: Carmen Lee <clee9@julian.uwo.ca>
CC: tonys@asiaonline.net, ylee4@julian.uwo.ca, cokekid69@hotmail.com,
     apl@andrew.cmu.edu, s965825@mailserv.cuhk.edu.hk, Wu_PuiM@bentley.edu,
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> >>>THE ***REAL*** INSTRUCTIONS FOR LIFE
> >>>
> >>>1.  Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully in bed.
> >>>3.  Don't believe all you hear about STD's, spend all you have and
         sleep with whoever you want.
> >>>4.  When you say, "I love you", make sure it looks you mean it.
> >>>5.  When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in the middle of their
forehead.
> >>>6.  Have sex for at least six months before you get married.
> >>>7.  Believe in love at first sight only if your first sight is Tyra
         Banks.
> >>>8.  Never laugh at anyone's dreams unless they're really funny.
> >>>9.  Thrust deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the
         only way to live life completely.
> >>>10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling. *
> >>>11. Don't judge people by their relatives. *
> >>>12. Fuck slow but leave quick.
> >>>13. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile
and
> >>>    say, "Damn, you sure do ask some dumb ass questions".
> >>>14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great
breasts.
> >>>15. Call your mom a bitch.
> >>>16. Say "bless you" when you hear someone having sex.
> >>>17. When you lose, don't lose the erection.
> >>>18. Remember the three S's: Sex for self; Sex for others;
> >>>19. Sex for all your actions.
> >>>20. Don't let a little casual sex injure a great friendship.
> >>>21. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to
         blame the person closest to you.
> >>>22. Masturbate when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in
         your voice.
> >>>23. Buy a vibrator you love to talk to. As you get older, its
  >>>24. conversational skills will be as important as any other skill.
> >>>25. Spend time alone with a great a big jar of vaseline and a nudie
         mag.
> >>>26. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values. *
> >>>27. Remember that "No, a little to the left, ok it's in." is
         sometimes the best answer.
> >>>28. Read less books and watch more TV.
> >>>29. Live a good, promiscuous life. Then when you get older and think
 back, you'll get to enjoy it a second time.
> >>>30. Trust in God, but lock your car. *
> >>>31. A loving atmosphere in your home is so important. Do all you can
to
> >>>    buy as many sex toys as you can and hide them in the strangest
         places, like in your fridge.
> >>>32. In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current
situation; don't bring up the past. *
> >>>33. Read between the lines of coke.
> >>>34. Share your sperm. It's a way to achieve immortality.
> >>>35. Be gentle with the earth. *
> >>>36. Your penis  --  there's immeasurable power in it.
> >>>37. Never interrupt when you are being eaten.
> >>>38. Mind your own damn business.
> >>>39. Don't trust a man who doesn't grab your ass when you kiss him.
> >>>40. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before, like the
         bathroom for a shower.
> >>>41. If you make a lot of money, put it to use paying for hookers and
         buying lots of drugs. That is wealth's greatest satisfaction.
> >>>42. Remember that not getting what you want will make you end
         up stroking yourself.
> >>>43. Learn the rules then break them. That's what they're there for.
> >>>44. Remember that the best relationship is one where your love of S&M
         is greater than your need for Bondage&Discipline.
> >>>45. Judge your success by what and how quickly your hand did
         in order to get it up.
> >>>46. Remember that your fat ass is always too big.
> >>>47. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon. *

> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     This is nice regardless if you choose to pass it on!
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     INSTRUCTIONS FOR LIFE
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     1.   Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     2.   Memorize your favorite poem.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     3.   Don't believe all you hear.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     4.   Don't spend all you have.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     5.   Don't sleep all you want.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     6.   When you say, "I love you", mean it.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     7.   When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in the eye.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     8.   Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     9.   Believe in love at first sight.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     10.   Never laugh at anyone's dreams.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     11.   Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but
> >it's
> >>>> >>the
> >>>> >>>     only way to live life completely.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     12. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name  calling.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     13. Don't judge people by their relatives.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     14. Talk slowly, but think quick.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     15. When someone asks you a question you don't want to
> >answer,
> >>>> >>>smile
> >>>> >>>     and ask, "Why do you want to know?".
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     16. Remember that great love and great achievements involve
> >>>> great
> >>>> >>>     risk.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     17. Call your mom.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     18. Say "God bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     19. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     20. Remember the three R's:  Respect for self; Respect for
> >>>> >others;
> >>>> >>>     Responsibility for all your actions.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     21. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     22. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate
> >steps
> >>>> >>to
> >>>> >>>     correct it.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     23. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it
> >in
> >>>> >>>your
> >>>> >>>     voice.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     24. Marry a spouse you love to talk to.  As you get older,
> >his
> >>>> or
> >>>> >>>her
> >>>> >>>     conversational skills will be as important as any other.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     25. Spend some time alone.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     26. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your
> >values.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     27. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     28. Read more books and watch less TV.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     29. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and
> >>>> >think
> >>>> >>>     back,you'll get to enjoy it a second time.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     30. Trust in God but lock your car.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     31. A loving atmosphere in your home is so important. Do all
> >you
> >>>> >>>can
> >>>> >>>     to create a tranquil harmonious home.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     32. In disagreements with loved ones, deal with a current
> >>>> >>>situation.
> >>>> >>>     Don't bring up the past.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     33. Read between the lines.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     34. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     35. Be gentle with the earth.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     36. Pray. There's immeasurable power in it.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     37. Never interrupt when you are being flattered.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     38. Mind your own business.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     39. Don't trust a person who doesn't close his or her eyes
> >when
> >>>> >>you
> >>>> >>>     kiss them.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     40. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     41. If you make a lot of money, put it to use  helping
> >others
> >>>> >>while
> >>>> >>>     you are living. That is wealth's greatest satisfaction.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     42. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a
> >>>> stroke
> >>>> >>>of
> >>>> >>>     luck.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     43. Learn the rules, then break some.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     44. Remember that the best relationship is one where your
> >love
> >>>> >for
> >>>> >>>     each other is greater than your need for each other.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     45. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order
> >to
> >>>> get
> >>>> >>>it.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     46. Remember that your character is your destiny.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     47. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon
> >>>> >>>     =============
> >>>> >>>     Now, here's the FUN part!  Send this to at least 5 people
> >and
> >>>> >your
> >>>> >>>     life will improve (do not send it back to the person that
> >sent
> >>>> it
> >>>> >>>to
> >>>> >>>     you, it won't count)
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     0-4 people:  Your life will improve slightly.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     5-9 people:  Your life will improve to your liking.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     9-14 people:  You will have at least 5 surprises in the next
> >3
> >>>> >>>weeks.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>     15 and above:  Your life will improve drastically and
> >everything
> >>>> >>>you
> >>>> >>>     ever dreamed of will begin to take shape.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>[ This is the FUNNY list ]
> >>>> >>>To leave - send message UNSUBSCRIBE FUNNY to
> >>>> >LISTSERV@ASTI.DOST.GOV.PH.
> >>>> >>>If you experience difficulties, write to
> >>>> >>FUNNY-request@ASTI.DOST.GOV.PH.
> >>>> >>>
> >>>> >>>--------- End forwarded message ----------
> >>>> >>>
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> >>>> >>>
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> >>>> >>
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> >>>> >
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> >>>>
> >>>>
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> >>>
> >>
> >>
> >
> >
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> >
>
